There are some who have put much effort in to raising their children to follow a certain path, yet they choose a different, often a heartbreaking path. As a result, we feel helpless, out of control.In our relationships, especially our marriages, many feel that there is no time to work on a marriage under stress and that our marriages are just sort of limping along.

I spent time talking to my congregation on Rosh Hashana about feeling out of control and at least one spiritually and religiously positive aspect of this feeling. I am happy to share it with you.

Events in life that humble us altogether bad. They supply a needed corrective for a sense of arrogance that leads us to believe that everything is in our control and that we can correct any problem if we only wanted to.

This shocking awareness of our limitations and our helplessness is part of the spirit that Rosh Hashanah seeks to instill in us. On this day do we say: ve’yeda kol pa’ul ki attah pe’alto ve’yavin kol yetzur ki attah yetzarto, “May every existing being know that Thou hast made it; may every creature realize that Thou hast created it.” Spirituality consists in the acknowledgment that we are pa’ul not only Po’el; that we are the objects of events, and not the subjects who determine them. Theologians have called that “Kreatursgefuhl”, the awareness of our creatureliness, of our severe limitations in the face of God and the world. And it is true that we are limited in what we can do — sometimes tragically so. (I gleaned this insight from a Drasha given by Rabbi Normal Lamm)

 This idea is the essence of petitional prayer. When we ask God for things it is an admission o need and a call for help.

 So the recent crisis, and the unsettled areas of our life, may have a positive impact on our souls as they compel us to realize that we are not all powerful and that there are forces greater than us.

In ancient times, when humanity was ravaged by weather, and disease, humility was in abundance. People felt humbled in the face of those great forces. In our time and society when we able to protect ourselves from weather and fight disease we no longer feel that sense power nor the humility that comes with it.

Perhaps the economy, we are now realizing, is also a powerful force, not always in our control. Not all aspects of human relationships are in our control either. Perhaps our current feelings of helplessness will help us regain our sense of humility.

I think this idea specifically relates to the morethodox as we pride ourselves on our modern sense of self sufficiency and being in control. We consider ourselves part of  society that has accomplished so much that we may, at time, loose perspective on what we really can control and who really is in control. While we should not trade away our intense involvement in the world of science, medicine and technology nd business,we should be aware that our successes in those areas come with potentially dangerous spiritual side affects.

We should embrace the lesson of humility that difficulty and distress bring. Humility is a good thing even if it is born from negative experiences.

On this week of Tish’a B’av, I want to write in a different tone. Yes, I do believe firmly in working on Kiddush Hashem, and avoiding Chilul Hashem. I said my piece last week. This time I want to apologize to anyone I might have hurt by the tone of my message. In writing this blog, sometimes I fall into the trap of being sensational and YELLING my point. But I understand, that especially when being critical of my brothers and sisters, I need to be humble and modest , avoiding any sarcasm and certainly not relishing in critique. The truth is that if the message is right and true, it will get heard without being “in your face” and sensational. I was happy that my ideas were picked up by many different outlets, but I feel that since it was a message of rebuke, tocheicha, I need to work harder to make sure not to feel even one shemetz – one iota – of satisfaction of taking on a community and its leadership. I just hope that despite just being a small pulpit rabbi in Chicago, people are listening. And I thank the Los Angeles Jewish Journal for hosting our blog, as well as Vos Iz Neis for picking up these blogs over the past week.
At the same time, I am gratified that beyond the issues of Hilul Hashem and Kiddush Hashem, the invitation to Me’ah She’arim from USA Yated Neeman editor Rabbi Pinchas Lipschutz was sincere, and we have been in touch, and I look forward to meeting with him, and eventually being in Me’ah She’arim together. This is a new relationship with a leader in the Yeshivishe world that I hope to foster, and I am grateful for it.
Moreover, from the idea of the invitation to Me’ah She’arim, I am working on an Achdus Mission to Israel. The mission should include rabbis from the spectrum of Orthodoxy, and should visit institutions and communities in Israel from the spectrum of Orthodoxy: from those in Me’ah She’arim to those in the Old City to those outside and part of Modern Orthodoxy in Israel. There have been a lot of emails of people excited about joining such a mission, and while it seems like it will be a challenge, I believe it is doable.
On the background of all the apparent Hillul Hashem of the past weeks and months – of course we don’t know who is guilty of what and to what extent and the circumstances that led to their alleged actions – I call for all of us to come together. I know Rav Yosef called for unity of all Jews committed to Judaism, and I agree with that as well, maybe we at Morethodoxy can be a catalyst to bring Orthodoxy together and to show that world that as much as we disagree vehemently, we can come together in mutual respect, and work toward the mutual good of Torah, Shem Hashem and Am Yisrael.
Perhaps, with God’s help, we are moving in the right direction as we head for the sad time when we Jews all over the world will sit together on the floor and try to find a way of “renewing our days as of old”.
May this Tish’a B’av move us to a time where there won’t be any more mourning for our People, a time of appreciating for each other which we all deserve.
Asher Lopatin