Programs that Modern Orthodox Synagogues Should be Running

November 12, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz 

This past week, we commemorated Kristallnacht, Night of Broken Glass.  It is a day that we think about the loss of six million Jews. But this year, at the Hebrew Institute of Riverdale, we commemorated 6 million and one. This past June, at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC, Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns, gave his life defending shoah memory.  In the presence of his wife, Zakiah Johns, this is the speech that I gave to open up the program:

Kristallnacht. The Night of Broken Glass.  It is a name, I believe, that is meant to force us to hear the traumatic and heartbreaking sounds of that fateful night on November 9 and 10th 1938.  And if I close my eyes, I can almost hear the broken windows of store fronts. The shattering of glass in synagogues and in homes.  I can hear the crackling of paper, the reams of holy words, burning in shuls, of Torah scrolls being consumed, licked up by flames.   I can hear the cries of fathers being separated from children.  The gasps of women who watched their homes being destroyed.  And, if I listen closely, I can hear the moments of heroism yes heroism, by all those who had to sacrifice their lives on that night, and all those who were given the gift of continuing to live that night.

Tonight, we also remember the sounds of June 10th, 2009.  Sounds of that day ring in my ears as well.  First the swish of the door that is held open by a museum guard, followed by the sounds of gun shots. I hear the frantic screams of people running. The chaos. And if I listen closely, I hear the heroism of one man, of Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns, who gave his life so that others would not perish.  A man that for six years stood outside the US Holocaust Memorial Museum, defending the memory of the sounds of Kristallnacht and the sounds of horror evoked by the shoah. 

 In Judaism, sound is central to some of our foundational rituals.  It is the shofar, the sounding of the rams horn, however, that ushers in for us varying emotions. On one hand, the shofar blasts are meant to sound like a deep and painful cry.  Perhaps it is the cry of death and destruction that we as a community have experienced through out our history.  The sounds of sobbing are a symbol of the hurt and pain that each of us as individuals and as a community have experienced.  But the shofar is also meant to evoke in us a sense of redemption. It is a sound that conveys triumph—and so the shofar used to be sounded at the end of a battle to signify victory.  For in that moment of glory it is a cry of joy and hope for the future.  A sound that will usher in peace and joy for all eternity.
As we listen to the sound of the shofar in just a few moments, let all the sounds of the past—the sounds of brokenness and destruction as well as the sounds of hope for the future wash over us.  And let us recall the sounds of death intertwined with the resounding sound of life. And let’s hear the shofar as a call—a call to each of us to live our lives in harmony attempting to perpetuate the memory of all those who could not stand with us here, tonight.

 


Seeing That Which is Right Before our Eyes.

November 5, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

Avraham Aveinu, and the Akeida story have much to teach us about the important interplay between sight and self-examination.  In fact, the word “ירא” – to see – is repeated throughout the Akeida story.

In Bereishit chapter 22 verse 4, the Torah says

וַיִּשָּׂא אַבְרָהָם אֶת־עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא אֶת־הַמָּקוֹם מֵֽרָחֹֽק

Avraham raised his eyes and saw the place from afar”.

Avraham is described as a man who is able to see into the distance.  His level of perception was so keen, that Chazal explain that he was able to  “see” God, as it were.  The word Hamakom in the above-cited verse, commonly translated as “the place,” is also one of God’s many names (typically invoked in the house a mourner), and therefore the verse would read that Avraham raised his eyes and saw God from afar.

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Weddings

October 29, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

I am the co-mesaderet kiddushin at a wedding next week.  It is not the first wedding I have participated in.  And at each ceremony, I can’t help but feel concerned about how the guests will respond to seeing a woman under the chupah.  Will people question whether the couple is halakhicly married? Will some call into question the couple’s religious level of observance?   How will my presence impact one of the most memorable days of a couple’s life as well as the future they will make together. And then I get a hold of myself, and I realize that there is very little negative impact that a female presence can have on the wedding ceremony.   When one actually analyzes the different components of the wedding ceremony, it is apparent that there is little that a woman cannot do, and much that a woman can contribute. 

The mesder/et kiddsuhin’s obligation to the couple begins way before the wedding day. 

On a halakhic level, the mesader/et kiddushin ensures that the couple is versed in the laws of niddah (family purity).  The mesader/et reviews the components of the wedding ceremony, and must review very carefully the language of the ketubah and the tenaim.

On a pastoral level, the mesader/et meets with the couple to discuss sensitive family dynamics, expectations they each have for their marriage, and to try uncover and acknowledge fears that each may harbor with regards to their relationship. 

It seems obvious that a sensitive knowledgeable woman would be in a position to meet all of the above obligations.  If the couple has a relationship with a female religious leader, there seems to be no barriers, thus far, to a female mesadert kiddushin.

Which brings me to the ceremony itself.   It is true that there are aspects of the ceremony that cannot be performed by woman. Women cannot function as witnesses to the ketubah or to the ring ceremony.  There are those who argue that a woman should not say the brikat erusin.  And there is some halahkic concern with a woman reciting the sheva brachot.  However, the formal definition of the mesdaer kiddsuin is “the one who arranges the betrothal.”  Translation—to coordinate the ceremony.  Practically this means explaining the components of the ceremony (if the wedding is in a place that needs to be explained), offering meaningful words under the chupah, ensuring that each of the components are recited appropriately and correctly.  In most ceremonies the mesader does not read the sheva brachot, and it is common to honor esteemed friends and family with different components of the ceremony.

And so, I ask again: is there really any reason for a woman who has a meaningful relationship with the couple not to officiate at the wedding?  I think not.

 


Is it All In a Name?

October 15, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

I am sitting on a panel tomorrow night with some of my esteemed female colleagues for a discussion about female spiritual leaders in the Orthodox community. (Beyond the Glass Ceiling: New Orthodox Leadership Roles for Women.)  I know that the question of title will come up. While I believe that the job – functioning as a spiritual leader, connecting with people, having the opportunity to teach Torah to others—is of primary importance, title is relevant.  It has been almost 7 months since the initiation of the title Mahara”t, and I am curious to hear people’s reactions now to the title.  I am still not sure if Mahara”t is simply a place holder for another more rabbi sounding title, like “rabah” or even “rabbi,” or if it has come to mean Rabbi, and thus will stick.  I know that for at least the people in my community, the title seems to carry with it some significance. It has been easier for me to appropriately respond and act in a rabbinic role, as people have associated the title with a certain level of scholarship and authority.  We have even called the new school that will ordain Orthodox women as rabbis “Yeshivat Mahara”t.”  At first, the criticism from the left was that we were capitulating to political pressure and selling ourselves short. Anything less than Rabbi would not do.  And yet, on the other hand, the title Mahara”t has allowed women from both ends of the Orthodox spectrum to dream, even realistically consider pursuing a path of religious spiritual leadership.  What do you think the future holds? Is the Orthodox community more likely to hire and accept Mahara”ts as their spiritual leaders? Or is the only legitimate path to advocate for women to be called rabbis?


Spending Money on Lulavim and Etrogim

October 8, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

I learned an important lesson from a member of our community this past Sukkot.   Dr. Levy (pseudonym) who is blind, came to the lobby of our shul to buy a lulav and etrog.  There he was picking out his set, with a bunch of frightened Bnei Akiva teens trying to figure out how to help a blind man choose an etrog. He ran his hands over all the etrogim for a few minutes and then picked one up. Someone walked over to him and told him that it was the most beautiful etrog and asked him how he chose it. He said something I will never forget.  “People spend hours with a magnifying glass searching for the perfect etrog – looking for spots and specks. But they are missing the entire point. The goal is to be turning that magnifying glass into yourself. We spend so much time looking at a fruit, when we should really be looking into ourselves.”

People do spend a lot of time and money on their lulavim and etrog.  The gemara says that one should spend one-third more of their earnings on an etrog, and after that, God will reimburse you!  However, perhaps the lulav and etrog should be seen as an extension of ourselves.  There’s an often quoted midrash that says that each of the four species correlate to parts of our bodies—the lulav is likened to our spine, the hadass—the eyes, the aravah to the mouth, and the etrog is likened to our heart.   Rather than spend so much time finding the perfect species, we should figure out how to be better people.  We should stand up for others who cannot stand up for themselves. We should use our mouths to praise God and others, we should use our eyes to see the good in this world, and open hearts one third more than we usually do.

The ritual object—the lulav and etrog—is meant to help enhance our performance of the act.  We strive to pick beautiful lulavim and etrogim not for the sake of retaining bragging rites for having the best etrog around town. But as a means to help each of us serve God and others in a more complete way.

On a separate note, there have been some questions with respect to Yeshivat Mahara”t. To read a little more about the Yeshiva, check out http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c36_a16923/News/New_York.html


Yalta: Encountering Rabbinic Authority

October 1, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

There are few named women in the Talmud. One of the few is Yalta, the wife of Rav Nachman, a third generation Babylonian Amora, and the daughter of the Reish Galuta, a wealthy and well-respected figure. When I first learned about Yalta, it was like discovering a timeless friend — a soul mate.  Learning the stories in the gemaras that she appeared in was like laughing knowingly, with someone who was trying to break through a cement ceiling in a patriarchal world.

A few stories about Yalta:

The Talmud Bavli Beizah 25b brings an anecdote about Yalta being carried on a “sedan chair” on Shabbat.  As surprising as this may be, the Gemara lists other limited circumstances when it would be permissible to be carried.  An older person can be carried on a “sedan chair.”  And if a number of people need the person for religious guidance, they can be carried.  Also, a well-respected member of the community can be carried.  Therefore, it logically follows that the reason why Yalta was being carried on Shabbat must be because people needed her.  And indeed, Tosefot suggest: “people required her guidance,” and therefore, she could be carried on Shabbat.

The Talmud in Bavli Brachot 51b describes how Ulla refuses to send the “cos shel bracha” the cup of wine over which birkat hamazon (grace after meals) is made.  Yalta gets up “in a passion” and breaks four hundred jars of wine.  What audacity. What waste.  And yet, the Mahrasha says that she was not angry because of the wine per se. She broke the wine to show that drinking the wine was not important to her.    אלא על כוס הברכה שלא שלח לה כעסה

“rather, she was angry because the cup of benediction was not sent to her.”  Yalta wanted to participate in the ritual of blessing the wine. She wanted desperately to be involved—not for the sake of drinking wine—but to bless and honor God in the same way that her male companions were doing.  Yalta refused to accept status quo.  Her reaction, while extreme, is a tribute to the passion she felt towards religious ritual.

Finally, the Talmud Bavli, Nidah 20b, describes how Yalta influenced the psak– Rabbinic dispensation– with regards to a question related to the laws of niddah (family purity). Yalta knew that her bedikah (checking) cloth was clean and rendered her able to be intimate with her husband.  Yet, despite the fact that she had the knowledge to determine her own status, she still went to the Rabbi’s (as one was supposed to do at that time) to get an authoritative decision.  Yalta could have circumvented the Rabbinic system altogether, and made her own decision. However, she took her predicament to the Rabbi, dialogued about it, and in the end, successfully influenced the rabbinic decision. Yalta saw a problem with the rabbinic system, and rather than reject it, she worked within the system towards changing it.

Read together, all three stories weave together a picture of a woman who was well respected for her scholarship, passionate about religious ritual, with the fortitude to encounter and influence rabbinic authority for the better.

How could any women —or any person for that matter– trying to participate in Jewish religious leadership not look to Yalta for strength?


Counteracting Boredom

September 24, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

The Jewish holidays evoke in many a fear of sitting in shul. Again and again. Hours on end.  I have been trying to craft a spiritually uplifting and meaningful prayer experience at my shul,. As I do so, I have been acutely sensitive to the fact that people want that spiritually uplifting and meaningful experience in less than 2 hours.  Balancing the beauty of the High Holiday liturgy, with a need to get through them quickly is a humbling experience.

And yet, perhaps, the driving foundational issue, that keeps people from being glued to their seats is a sense of boredom with Judaism and religious ideals in general.  A few weeks ago, Erica Brown, the scholar-in-residence at the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington wrote an article in the Jewish Week, “Boredom Is So Interesting.” http://www.thejewishweek.com/viewArticle/c55_a16513/Editorial__Opinion/Opinion.html

In it, she proposes that the problem with Judaism is not the rituals, the culture, or history. Judaism remains a rich tradition.  Rather, it is us, the individual who is to blame. She quotes the poet Dylan Thomas, “Something is boring me. I think it’s me.”  When boredom strikes, she says, “it’s time to look in the mirror.”

On Yom Kippur, we will read the story of Jonah and how God called out to him.  But Jonah ran away, trying desperately to escape God’s call by hiding in the deepest recesses of a ship, and then falling into a deep slumber.  Jonah attempted to escape God’s presence. Shun God’s calling. 

Many of us, if we would just open ourselves to the possibility, have a keen spiritual sense; we can sense the presence of God.  The question is, what do we do with that calling. Do we try to run away, unshackle ourselves from the weight and responsibility of a religious call?  Or, do we move towards the calling—like Moses, who beseeched God,  “Show me your glory” (Shemot 33:18), right before God’s presence passed before his face.  

Perhaps we should each challenge ourselves, this Yom Kippur, to think about the reasons that we are drawn to Jewish community, and then think of the reasons that we want to stay away. Is it because we are spiritually numb? Alienated? Feel out of place? Or experience a disconnect with synagogue ritual and liturgy? 

Then consider figuring out how to re-engage.  How each of us can re-invigorate our Judaism to make it both more intellectually and spiritually stimulating.


Rosh Hashana: The Listening Holiday

September 17, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

Rosh Hashana is a Listening Holiday.

In contrast to the other Holidays, which I would classify more as seeing holidays. Let me explain.  In the Biblical times, for the festivals of Sukkot, Shavuot, and Pesach, the Jewish people are commanded to go on a pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem.  It is the pilgrimage to the Temple which forms the central act of observance.  And on their journey, the Jewish people are commanded on these three occasions to see the divine, — “reiyat panim.” To see God’s face.

And, if you think about the holidays, the rituals associated with Pescah, Shavout and Sukkot all involve seeing—the lulav and etrog on Sukkot are supposed to look a certain way.  The seder plate must appear at the center of the seder table on Pesach, and seeing the inside of the Torah is central to Shavuot.

In contrast, the fundamental principle of Rosh Hashanah is listening as manifested through the requirement to hear the shofar. The shofar– the central ritual of Rosh Hahsana. 

The truth is, it wasn’t always so clear that the primary obligation of the day is to hear the shofar. 

There’s an interesting disagreement about whether the blessing we say before blowing the shofar should be a blessing on blowing the shofar or a blessing on hearing the shofar.  Is the primary obligation to blow the shofar or to hear the shofar.  The blessing of course is :

“Blessed are You, Hashem,Our God, King of the world, who sanctified us through His commandments and commanded us to hear the sound of the Shofar”

ברוך אתה ה’אלהינו מלך העולם אשר קדשנו במצותיו וצונו לשמוע קול שופר

It is a blessing over the sound—the cries of tekiya, shevarim and truah.

The essence of the mitzvah of shofar is not the blowing in of itself, but it is about hearing the sound emanating from the shofar. 

And yet, the first day of Rosh Hashana coincides with Shabbat, and there is no shofar. On Shabbat, we don’t blow shofar lest we come to carry the shofar and desecrate Shabbat observance.  The holiness of Shabbat overrides the shofar blast.

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An Inaugural Moment

September 10, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

Today is the opening day of Yeshivat Mahara”t, a day I believe, that will go down in history.  It is the first program open to Orthodox women that is willing not only to train, but to ordain women as spiritual leaders— as rabbinic leaders— in the Orthodox community.  This is the message that I hope to impart to the inaugural class: 

At the conferral ceremony just a few months ago, where I became a Mahara”t, almost everyone who rose to speak declared with joy, “zeh hayom asah Hashem, nagila v’nismacha vo.”  This is the day God has made, let us rejoice and be glad on it.  And it truly was an inspiring moment, a day to rejoice and be glad. But for me, this day, today, September 10, 2009, 21st day of Elul, 5769, carries far more import. This is the dream that I have been waiting to see come to fruition. It is the dream, to quote this week’s parsha, of “kulchem:” “Atem nizavim hayom kulchem lifnei Hashem.” You are standing today, ALL of you, before God.”  Kulchem includes all people, elders, officers, men, women, and children all standing together to accept and be included in God’s covenant.

The Alshich, a Biblical commentator living in the 16th century in Safed, notes that everyone—kulchem, were standing “equally in the presence of the Lord, simultaneously.”  What an idyllic image, where one’s gender or status was irrelevant; for men, women and children, old and young, rich and poor, alike were standing together, in partnership before God. 

Women’s learning and leadership has made tremendous strides over the past century.  This space, this place that we are sitting in now, Drisha Institute for women, has been on the forefront of fortifying and nourishing women with knowledge, courage and confidence to become Jewish scholars.  But, we cannot stop there.  The time has come, the day has come, for women to transform their knowledge into service, to be able to stand together, with our male counterparts, as spiritual leaders of our community.  And not because women should have the same opportunities as men – although they should – and not because women can learn and achieve on par with men – although they can.  But because women, as Jewish leaders, have so many singular and unique gifts to offer, so much to contribute to the larger Jewish community.

So let us not let this day pass by without taking a moment to acknowledge and celebrate how much we have actually achieved, and to look forward to the achievements and milestones to come.


Envisioning a Healthy Jewish Sex Ethic

September 3, 2009

Mahara”t Sara Hurwitz

Elul is not only the season of teshuvah.  It’s also the season of love! Ani l’dodi v’dodi li.  I am my beloved and my beloved is for me ( אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי).    It is the season of weddings.  I spend quite some time each summer preparing couples, the chattan and the kallah for the wedding day.  The focus, of course is on the laws of niddah—the code of laws of  “separation” between husband and wife while she is menstruating, and for seven days following.

But, over the years, I have come to realize that focusing solely on the 2 weeks where a couple are restricted, sends a negative message about Judaism’s view on marriage and sexuality.  And so, after carefully going through the halakha, (Jewish law) with each couple, I spend one session on “envisioning a healthy Jewish sex ethic.”

Let me begin with 2 images of a marital relationship in the Torah: Adam and Eve, and Moses and Tzipporah.

The Torah in Genesis 1:24 says:

על כן יעזב איש את אביו ואת אמו ודבק באשתו והיו לבשר אחד

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh.

“basar echad—one flesh,” according to Ramban means that a couple becomes one flesh, in both a physical and emotional realm.  This places sex at the center of the marital relationship.

The other image, of course, is Moses and Tzipporah.  After starting a family, Moses chose to separate from his wife to achieve greater spiritual heights. As the only person who would see God face to face, he could not imagine remaining married.

So which model prevails?

Both mentalities—the Adam and Eve model on one hand, and the Moses and Tzippora model on the other hand, found their way into Jewish practice.  There is a strand of rabbinic literature that teaches that sexuality is central to a healthy, committed relationship, and a strand that teaches that sex should not be the focal point of ones relationship.

The Talmud (Nedarim 20a) teaches that Rabbi Yochanan ben Dahabai, preached that married couples should limit their sexual practices, and value asceticism. Marital relations should not be for the enjoyment of the couple, but rather solely for procreative purposes.

But, the Talmud in Nedarim (20b) continues.  After quoting the lone ascetic opinion of Rabbi Yohanan ben Dahabai, the gemara quotes the majority, common held position that places no sexual restrictions on a couple in a committed loving relationship.

And yet, not all communities could embrace this open view on sexuality.  The Ger Chassidic community, for example, believed that being meticulous in the keeping the laws of nidadah as well as limiting ones sexual practices would usher in the messiah.  So, the community became entirely insular, creating schools, yeshivot, and social opportunities, so that their community members would not have to step into the real world. But, women had no interest in marrying Ger men, for their marriages tended to be void of love and compassion.

In response to this crises, in 1973, Rav Yosef Kanievsky (the Steipler) wrote quite a lengthy and explicit letter as a polemic response to the Ger Chassidic community’s ascetic sexual practices.  He writes:

If as a result of this (ascetic approach) he does not fulfill (lit. nullifies) the tiniest bit of his Biblical obligation, then his actions go to the Other Side, God forbid, and he will not achieve the paths of life.  Although he might think that he is rising to great heights, but in truth deep inside of him is buried a desire to consider himself a person of spiritual heights, while in fact he damages others and is himself damaged, and frequently his actions lead him to shame….”, but God forbid for one to act in an ascetic manner when it pains his wife, who is dependant on him and who has not given a remission with a full heart on what is her due.

He goes on, on the other hand,

One who engages in physical intimacy and touching and the like for the sake of heaven, because he is compassionate and does not want her to be in pain and miserable, this does not bring him in any way to a weakening of his fear of heaven or to a descent into pleasures (hedonism).  To the contrary! It brings him to holiness, and he fulfils a Biblical mitzvah of “You shall walk in His paths” – just as He is compassionate, you too must be compassionate.

Rav Kanievsky is merely emphasizing that sexual fulfillment when consensual, is central to a healthy and happy marriage.

Now, you may be wondering how I can so freely write about such a sensitive and intimate topic. The truth is, I speak to many women and couples who are struggling in this realm. And very often there is so much pain and embarrassment revolving around their marriage, that I realized how important and central talking about the importance of sex within marriage is.  I began dedicating a session to teaching couples about sex as part of the curriculum for preparing them for marriage. And the Modern Orthodox community in general is beginning to see the importance of teaching and helping couples deal with very intimate aspects of their lives.

Two years ago, I helped organize a conference, sponsored by Drisha, Yeshivat Chovevei Torah, and JOFA, where we brought together 15 kallah teachers from around the country and Isreal.  We spent four days teaching these women how to strike a balance between teaching halakha, teaching the laws of niddah, as well as emphasizing the importance of enhancing their marital relationships.  The women were floored by the frankness and openness with which the topic was dealt with, and I think we helped break down some of the taboo associated with talking about, in the appropriate context, the centrality of sexuality within marriage.

In recent years Tzelem, has been formed; created by YU alumni Jennie Rosenfeld and Koby Frances, who identified a need for an honest examination of sexuality and gender relationships in the Orthodox community.

And, I hope in my own small way, with the help of specialists in the field, I have give couples permission to explore and ensure that their marriage is not void of physical and emotional fulfillment.


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