Leaving out words such as “morality” and “religion”, If asked: Is it all right to lead a gay lifestyle?

If you would answer :yes, then I do not understand why leading an incestual lifestyle would be different. You are simply creating a “chiluk she’ano mechalek”. If there is something immoral about an incestual relationship (and why should there be something immoral about it if it is b/w two consenting adults? who are you, or anyone for that matter to dictate standards of morality when there is no harm being done?) then likewise there should be something immoral about an homosexual relationship.

And, if there is no immorality in homosexuality, then it must be ascertained as to why one type of consensual relationship is not immoral, while another type of consensual relationship is immoral. Saying that it is societally driven is not enough, as I am sure that just as there are those in our modern society who condone homosexuality, so too there are plenty of those in our modern society who are liberal or libertarian who would likewise condone incest b/w consenting adults.

There are many non observant individuals who are honored at othodox institutions’ annual dinners. Isn’t this “celebrating” their lifestyles or life choices. If you say that they are only being honored for their financial support, then in this case we are celebrating the couple’s committment to supporting and caring for children (whether adopted or through surragacy). One could even say that we are celebrating their going against the prevailing culture of not committing to monogomous relationships and not rearing children.

I imagine the translation would be something like the English colloquialism-”ooh gross”.
hyim

I don’t know where you got that quote about the Conservative movement, but I think you made that up. The responsa passed a few years ago did not allow anal intercourse.

The gist of much of the criticism is the expectation of a domino effect, such that Modern Orthodoxy will perhaps inevitably lose any moorings and eventually follow the path of Conservatism. Why? Because Torah values are, it is claimed, being subsumed to non-Torah values based on whatever the current mores of society are. I do see a genuine risk here, but I think it is being overstated.

After all, what is being advocated on Moreothodoxy is not throwing over of halacha. Rabbi Shafner explicitly says that homosexuality is a violation of halacha. Moreover, Modern Orthodoxy is far from showing a desire to fit in with all aspects of secular morality. There is no esteem given to the culture of violence. The consumer culture is not a Modern Orthodox value either, although it could be challenged more than it is (we do see some use of sumptuary laws among all shades of Orthodoxy). I have never seen any Modern Orthodox Rabbi suggest that we should be more liberated in non- or extra-marital sexual behavior (although halachically there is some room for men who have unbearable urges, but it is only among right wing frum men I have personally seen this used to fall back on when a member of their community is caught in a compromising situation). Related to this, women’s dress among those committed to Modern Orthodoxy is closer in sniyus to that of Haredim than to the culture at large (unless, perhaps, one counts conspicuous consumption as a violation of sniyus, in which case it is wealthy Haredi women who I have seen the overdoing it on average more than their Modern Orthodox peers).

The key question then becomes: what is the basis for the distinctions in Modern Orthodoxy with regards to which aspects of current cultural standards are and are not influential? I can’t think of a pithy way of summarizing this (clarifying this should be a Modern Orthodox priority), but it involves taking cognizance of human dignity (I find the term discomfortingly high falutin’, however). That means giving more consideration to inclusiveness when dealing with issues of gender equality (I think too many on the left of Modern Orthodoxy are stretching too far on this, effectively putting this matter as a higher priority than maintaining as much achdus as possible). It also means taking cognizance of the reality that the existence of free-will does not mean that the challenge of containing a forbidden desire it the same for all. In some cases it is a matter of “oness”, compulsion, and even where such a compulsion is resistible, we must have compassion for those struggling with these desires. In fact, it is easy to make a case that they deserve more compassion and acceptance than those dealing with far less strong desires. Keeping kosher and keeping Shabbos are easier than containing one’s basic sexual nature.

Having said all this, I return to my feeling that having a Kiddush to celebrate the commitment of two homosexuals to raising a family together is not a good idea. I would compare it to having a kiddush for someone who has had business success in newly opening his store on Shabbos. Rabbi Shafner, you would still be able to note that the businessman (or woman) did nothing immoral, while clearly maintaining that he still violated halacha. Sure, it is technically okay to join him in celebrating merely his business success, but it is not very seemly to do so under those circumstances.